Yesterday I had my May video session with my shrink, and as usual, it was fucking great. We talked mostly about my last weekend binge drinking episode, why it happened, how it happened and how to prevent it from happening again. We also decided that aside from taking Ambien, Naltrexone and Prozac, I will go back on Buspirone twice a day. To be honest, I did learn a few new things from my last fuck up.
Good morning and happy Hump day kids! I’m happy to say, that even though not even a week ago, I fucked up BIG TIME and even though today is only my 6th sober day, I feel fucking amazing. But you know what? There’s no such thing as being “perfect” or “normal”. There’s only being human.
Yesterday, I decided to go back on Naltrexone, which is a medication that has helped me in the past, by decreasing my desire to drink on the weekends. I also looked into online AA meetings, but the truth is, that I find it to be way too much bullshit, just to find and attend a simple fucking meeting. Other than that, I felt good, because it was Memorial Day and I was off from the salt mines.
Today is my 4th sober day since my last fuck up and after the facts, I’m feeling really good. But I have to learn from my previous fuck ups and be really careful recognizing the signs when they keep popping up all over the place. In other words, I really can’t let my guards down with this motherfucker.
OK kids, today is my 3rd sober day, yes that’s right, my 3rd sober day. That’s because my wife lost her dear maternal grandfather 8 days ago, but not only did I see him as my grandfather, he was also my godfather, so last week I slipped.